This is the story of my trip to Java, where my father's hidden past lies. The zoo, where my father used to spend his Sunday afternoons, is still a place where families like to go. Where the Japanese held boys' camp used to be, there is now a basketball court. The graves of my grandparents are partially covered in weeds and withered, yet I am alive and taking pictures. The images reflect this sensation of a parallel reality. Totok is a Javanese word mainly used to describe the full-blooded Dutch settlers of the colonial Dutch East Indies.